A Shrektacular Night
by King Nugget
Summary: Shrek and his roommate meet a friend for dinner, but the fun really starts when they arrive home...


**A Shrektacular Night**

Shrek x male reader

I'm so fucking tired. I've been studying for exams for seven hours straight. All I've had to eat is a small bag of potato chips and a carrot. This is too much.

My roommate, Shrek, enters our place. He has a neutral expression on his green face. "Hi. Are you still studying??" he says. "Yeeep," I reply unenthusiastically. "Well, I'm going out in about an hour, if you want to come," he tells me. "Where are you going?" I ask. "I'm going out to eat with a friend." "Who?" "John. I don't think you've met him." "Nope, not yet." "Wanna go?" I consider the prospect of it for a moment. "Yeah, sure. Why not?" I reply.

I continue my agonizing research for another half hour, and look up to see what Shrek's doing. He's sitting on the couch, on his phone... but he's staring at me! He quickly looks back to his screen when he realizes that I've noticed. I get back to studying, my heart beating ever so slightly faster.

After about twenty more minutes of pain, Shrek says, "Alright. Get ready to leave, and stands up. He stretches. I shut my laptop, and pull on my coat. I follow Shrek outside to his car. I get in the passenger seat and fasten my seatbelt. "Where are we headed?" I question. "To an Italian place about four miles off-campus. I've heard it's pretty decent."

We arrive at the restaurant and go inside. The place is dimly lit, but light enough. A man waves to us from his table. John. Shrek and I walk over and seat ourselves at his table.

"Hiya, Shrek. Who's this?" John says, cheerful. "This is my roommate," Shrek replies. "Hi, I'm John," says John, waving. "I realized that," I say, jokingly. We pick up our menus and peruse the selection of Italian cuisine available for our consumption. "Mmm, lasagna. What do you want, Shrek?" I say excitedly. "I think I like lasagna, too. How about we share?" "Sounds good," I say, smiling. "I think I'll just have some garlic bread," says John.

The waiter comes over and takes our order. We sit and talk about politics and the Bee Movie sequel until our food shows up. We eat, and HOLY SHIT THIS LASAGNA IS AWESOME. "Mmm..." Shrek moans as he chews. "I know, right?" I say. We continue eating until our platters are clean, talk for a while, and then the waiter brings the check. John pays, saying it's on him.

Shrek and I get back in the car, feeling satisfied. When we get back inside our place, I sit down on my bed and open up my laptop again. I sigh. Shrek sits on the sofa again, this time browsing a magazine.

After ten minutes of silence, Shrek says quietly, "Did you have fun...?" "Yeah," I reply. "The fun doesn't have to end..." he says... almost seductively. He stands up. I feel a huge weight rest on the edge of my bed, slowly shifting towards me. He slowly closes my laptop. He's close now. My heart is racing and I'm sweating profusely. He leans in close and kisses me. His lips are so rough, but I love it. His tongue wrestles playfully with mine, slowly getting more aggressive.

He shifts so he's standing on his knees. His hands move to his waistline— oh my God, he pulls his pants down. His dick is massive, throbbing— and looks appetizing... "It looks like a zucchini!" I say, then nervously laugh. Shrek chuckles. "Want to see if it tastes like one?" he says softly, and moves forward. Before I know it, the hard, green mass is in my mouth.

He moans as I stroke his penis, and I don't even realize my hand is in my pants and I'm masturbating. I unbuckle my belt, and pull the article of clothing off. I'm wanking until Shrek pulls his rod from my mouth and bends down, and the roles are switched.

I feel his tongue toying with my penis, and a feeling of pure ecstasy flows through me. I moan loudly. Shrek stops sucking and starts stroking hard. He continues with the handjob for about a minute, then looks me in the eyes and says sexily, "Want me to put it inside?" I consider this, then say, "Yes, Shrek. Please." I turn around, get on my knees, and prepare myself.

His penis enters my anal cavity with a huge thrust, and my prostate goes INSANE with pleasure. His cock is too much— I can feel my butt tearing and ripping slowly, but I keep going. "Faster," I moan, and he obeys. I feel my ass being destroyed, but I don't care.

After a while of the same thing, he grunts, "It's coming, get on your knees and face me, quick!" I get up quickly and turn to face him. He's standing— wanking hard and fast. He brings his Punisher close to my face, and with one final moan, I feel his love splatter all over my face. This causes me to do the same, all over Shrek's green, knobby feet. I'm panting. He's groaning in relief and pleasure, and I feel the adrenaline calm down. I stand up slowly. I look at Shrek. I move in, kiss his softly for a few seconds, and leave the room. I shower. My anus is bleeding. I don't give a fuck. It was worth it... I can't wait for next time.

 **FIN**

Note: the author of this is straight. This is a satirical work. lol I'm a horrid person.


End file.
